Titus Benton
Titus lives in the suburbs of St. Louis with his pretty wife Kari, adorable daughter Nora, and handsome son Malachi. He has worked in Student Ministry for 9 years in part- or full-time roles. He contributes to http://www.teensundayschool.com. When not cheering on the St. Louis Cardinals, he enjoyes listening to country music, eating greasy food, and reading John Grisham novels.
Stuff I Learned At Camp Last Week
- By Titus Benton
- Published 08/6/2008
I just got back from a week of camp. Perhaps you've heard of church camp. A dynamic breed of camping, the church variety offers many things other camps don't. You get all the standard features--pubescent hormones, young men who think swimming in the pool counts as a shower, and "ride a broom around the room" chants. but it's only at church camp where Jesus is at the center of it all. This ain't Boy Scout camp, folks, this is hyper-religious fun at it's best.
I learned a lot this year, and I thought it would be fun to share. Some of it I already knew (I've deaned two other weeks before this one and was once a camper myself).
Stuff I Learned:
1. The Cup Game is not cool, nor was it ever.
2. Most faculty look hideous riding said broom around said room.
3. Mail Call is an invention of the devil himself.
4. 155 Middle Schoolers + 95 degrees = smelly. Everywhere.
5. You can break a disposable camera and turn it into a taser.
6. Tasing hurts.
7. Taking canteen away from 80 girls = DRAMA!
8. It takes 7 minutes and 33 seconds to get 155 middle schoolers to be quiet at the same time.
9. "Lights Out" never seems to go as planned.
10. Any person wearing a fake mustache is funny.
11. You can have a successful week of camp without making kids try to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon, eat spam the fastest, or play Fuzzy Bunny.
12. Middle Schoolers can understand the Gospel and respond accordingly.
13. Telling the campers to line up into their teams, turn away from the doors to the mess hall in a really straight line, tell them whoever is the quietest and doesn't look back wins, and then sneaking in and getting food as faculty while they are looking way is REALLY funny.
14. Star Tripping is the funniest thing that has ever been invented.
15. My head looks dumb shaved. Thanks, missions goal.
16. The Blob, a floating catapult for screaming girls, makes any lake more exciting.
17. Taco Night is fantastic.
18. Taco Overnight is hideous.
19. I hate Capture the Flag. Someone is always a cheater, even if they didn't really cheat.
20. His grace is sufficient for me.
I learned a lot this year, and I thought it would be fun to share. Some of it I already knew (I've deaned two other weeks before this one and was once a camper myself).
Stuff I Learned:
1. The Cup Game is not cool, nor was it ever.
2. Most faculty look hideous riding said broom around said room.
3. Mail Call is an invention of the devil himself.
4. 155 Middle Schoolers + 95 degrees = smelly. Everywhere.
5. You can break a disposable camera and turn it into a taser.
6. Tasing hurts.
7. Taking canteen away from 80 girls = DRAMA!
8. It takes 7 minutes and 33 seconds to get 155 middle schoolers to be quiet at the same time.
9. "Lights Out" never seems to go as planned.
10. Any person wearing a fake mustache is funny.
11. You can have a successful week of camp without making kids try to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon, eat spam the fastest, or play Fuzzy Bunny.
12. Middle Schoolers can understand the Gospel and respond accordingly.
13. Telling the campers to line up into their teams, turn away from the doors to the mess hall in a really straight line, tell them whoever is the quietest and doesn't look back wins, and then sneaking in and getting food as faculty while they are looking way is REALLY funny.
14. Star Tripping is the funniest thing that has ever been invented.
15. My head looks dumb shaved. Thanks, missions goal.
16. The Blob, a floating catapult for screaming girls, makes any lake more exciting.
17. Taco Night is fantastic.
18. Taco Overnight is hideous.
19. I hate Capture the Flag. Someone is always a cheater, even if they didn't really cheat.
20. His grace is sufficient for me.
