Jesse Browning
Jesse is currently studying historical/systematic theology at Gordon-Conwell in South Hamilton, Massachusetts. He co-pastors "The Church... that meets in Beverly", drinks copious amounts of coffee, moderate amounts of red wine, and reads a lot. He is married to an amazing woman and is passionate about family, discipleship, social justice, youth ministry, the great outdoors, culture, dialogue, community, philosophy, and the challenge of tying all of these together while keeping Christ as the center. He could be described as a moderately reformed, cautiously charismatic, sinner and saint. He rarely writes or speaks in the third person.
Why I ended my relationship with Facebook
- By Jesse Browning
- Published 07/1/2009
I recently came to the do or die moment of deleting my Facebook account. I’ve played with the idea for awhile, but I always hesitated when it came to actually pulling the trigger. It was 1 a.m., and I was up late studying. After closing my book and ending my action-packed night of study, I decided to take one last glance at my Facebook page. You know what I’m talking about, you’ve done it. One more glance just to see if anyone has posted on your wall, or if anyone has broken up, gotten engaged or tagged you in a pic. Then it hit me. “Dear God,” I thought, “What the heck am I doing?” Had it really come to that? I had to check my Facebook at 1 a.m. before I went to bed? How pathetic. I knew at that moment it had to be done. I had to pull the trigger. I took a deep breath, and with a few swift clicks of the mouse, my Facebook account was no more.
I haven’t regretted it since.
Some people were confused. A few people who know me thought I had removed them from my friends’ list. I wish removing annoying people from my life could be that easy. One of my students is currently discussing the formation of a betting pool as to when I’ll be back on the Facebook grid. He claimed I wouldn’t last five days. It’s already been six. Overall, my world seems that much smaller, and I really like that. In a world where we are saturated with communication that lacks true relational depth, it’s one less shallow petty waste of time in my already compact and overtly busy life. You don’t realize how much time you consume with something like that until it’s gone, and trust me I was definitely wasting my fair share of time. Not only was wasting time a factor, but without it there’s one less excuse to be online.
It seems that no matter where you go online you’re inadvertently being exposed to sexual material in ads or media, which for some people can lead into Pandora’s box. I’m striving for purity in my life, and with one less reason to be online I get one less reason to potentially be exposed to the kind of material that can prove to be extremely harmful for my soul. I’m also trying to improve upon the quality of relationships and community around me, and although Facebook is great for networking, I’d much rather sit down with you face-to-face, or at the very least over the phone to communicate.
I also was sick of Facebook being yet another mediating force between my life and others. There’s a massive false sense of reality through online social networks, and if you don’t agree with me on this, spend about 30 minutes viewing the Facebook profiles of your friends. For many, the foundational content of your Facebook profile is this: “How cool can I convince people I am, without making it look like I’m trying to convince people I’m cool in the first place?” Come on, I’ve fallen prey to this, and I’m sure many of you have, too. The false sense of reality is believing that we’re much “cooler” than what we really are. Trust me, most of us are really not that cool. If you’re a Christian, you’ll also find the flipside of this. Instead of people trying to convince you how cool they are, you see evangelicals trying to convince you how “Christian” they are. Their own insecurities regarding their faith make them believe they have to put something about Jesus or Christianity on or in every category in the “info” section of their profile, because if they don’t they must be failing to be a good witness. Enough of my Christian pop-culture rant, back to the heart of what I’m getting at. Facebook is yet another mediating force between my own life and others.
By having something like your profile stand between you and another person you’re trying to communicate with, you’re placing another invisible barrier or lens which distorts what true life together is. For instance, when I look at a friend’s profile to get a better idea of who they are, I have to interpret not who they are in person, but rather the mediating example that they have chosen to expose or manifest on a Web page. Often times these examples (profiles) do contain truth about the subject, but they are also exaggerated, and insular in nature. With every technological advance we make, we seem to increase in our communicative capabilities. We also seem to create more and more buffers or language barriers that have to be waded through and interpreted.
Example: 150 years ago. You want to talk to a relative who lives in Pennsylvania, but you live in Massachusetts. You have very limited choices; write a hand written letter, pack up the horse and head to Pa., or send a courier or an ambassador type of person to represent you in your place. Around this time the telegraph came to be. This was a pretty cool advance, and messages could be sent over long distances in short time. After this came the telephone. Now you could call your relative from a phone and chat. In some ways, this is better in that you can actually hear the voice of the person you’re chatting with. Then came computers, cell phones, the Internet and the massive expanse of online social networks. All of these things increase our communicative abilities, but they also distort truth and leave room for creating alter egos and projecting images of who and how you want to be perceived, rather than who you really are. Check out the online world of “Second Life,” it’s a rather scary concept if you think about what it really is.
No place is this more dangerous than in the world of Christianity, where the true love for God and love for each other is only worked out and learned in communal life on life relationships centered on the Word. I might look like a cool guy on Facebook by the music I say I like, the books I claim to read, and the advice or messages I might give on your e-mail or Facebook wall. In reality, I can be a cocky, arrogant, insensitive, tool bag of a guy. But you’ll never know this, and you’ll never have the opportunity to lovingly call me on it or hold me accountable. Not unless you become an intimate part of my life and walk alongside me as I strive to walk with and for God.
Can truths from one’s character be seen from someone’s Facebook profile? Absolutely. But it will never be validated or proven as a fact about oneself until you are incarnated alongside each other. This is when our true colors shine. This is when our character comes under fire and is put to the test. You can project an image of who you are to anyone, but it’s only validated as your true character and self when it is worked out and put to the test of true communal life. In community, the liars are exposed, the posers are found out and the insensitive self-serving types of people have their true colors revealed. Talk and mediating agents are only truly refined and distilled under the fires of communal life.
This is what makes true Church (where two or more are gathered) such a dangerous threatening aspect for many. True Christian Church is a communal relational act in which a community strives to love the God of redemption, and to love each other. Part of love and true community is admitting that we’re flawed, and seeking to iron out these sins and flaws in the fold of the supporting community and the crossroads of grace and repentance. Pride is one of the roots of all sin, and pride is what keeps us from opening our hearts to the community of saints around us. I don’t want anyone to know just how screwed up and ridiculous I really am. I want people to know and think of me as the Jesse Browning they perceive from things like Facebook. My withholding and hiding of known sins in and of itself, only further slows my faith-community around me from growing closer to Christ and furthering his Kingdom.
In many ways, the faith of true community is integrated and influenced as a cohesive whole. My sins affect not only the state of my own personal relationship with God, but also radically affect my relationship with every single person who is in the sphere of influence in my life. If you are not opening your hearts to the community around you, and allowing honest evaluation and criticism, you’re not truly opening your heart to God. If you are truly opening your heart to God to deal with sin issues, you will see them being worked out in the community around you. If this isn’t happening, you’re either not truly going to God, or you don’t have a genuine faith-Christ centered-community around you. If true life was meant to be lived between just you and your Jesus, there would be no such thing as or need for the Church. You could just sit at home and pray a lot. But fortunately our relational God demands life together as the Church, and life in the midst of the world itself.
I deleted my Facebook account because I need to focus more on the reality of the true community around me. Not an online one that exists in a realm of electronic databases and falsely projected personas. Do I think Facebook is bad? No. Am I calling upon all Christians to delete their Facebook accounts immediately? Not in the least. It was a decision that was made on personal conviction and communal dialogue with those around me. I think Facebook is a great tool to network with people and establish basic communication. In my weakness, it became much more of a distraction than anything else. At some point, I’m sure I’ll bring it back just for the purpose of networking, but not for a while.
I haven’t regretted it since.
Some people were confused. A few people who know me thought I had removed them from my friends’ list. I wish removing annoying people from my life could be that easy. One of my students is currently discussing the formation of a betting pool as to when I’ll be back on the Facebook grid. He claimed I wouldn’t last five days. It’s already been six. Overall, my world seems that much smaller, and I really like that. In a world where we are saturated with communication that lacks true relational depth, it’s one less shallow petty waste of time in my already compact and overtly busy life. You don’t realize how much time you consume with something like that until it’s gone, and trust me I was definitely wasting my fair share of time. Not only was wasting time a factor, but without it there’s one less excuse to be online.
It seems that no matter where you go online you’re inadvertently being exposed to sexual material in ads or media, which for some people can lead into Pandora’s box. I’m striving for purity in my life, and with one less reason to be online I get one less reason to potentially be exposed to the kind of material that can prove to be extremely harmful for my soul. I’m also trying to improve upon the quality of relationships and community around me, and although Facebook is great for networking, I’d much rather sit down with you face-to-face, or at the very least over the phone to communicate.
I also was sick of Facebook being yet another mediating force between my life and others. There’s a massive false sense of reality through online social networks, and if you don’t agree with me on this, spend about 30 minutes viewing the Facebook profiles of your friends. For many, the foundational content of your Facebook profile is this: “How cool can I convince people I am, without making it look like I’m trying to convince people I’m cool in the first place?” Come on, I’ve fallen prey to this, and I’m sure many of you have, too. The false sense of reality is believing that we’re much “cooler” than what we really are. Trust me, most of us are really not that cool. If you’re a Christian, you’ll also find the flipside of this. Instead of people trying to convince you how cool they are, you see evangelicals trying to convince you how “Christian” they are. Their own insecurities regarding their faith make them believe they have to put something about Jesus or Christianity on or in every category in the “info” section of their profile, because if they don’t they must be failing to be a good witness. Enough of my Christian pop-culture rant, back to the heart of what I’m getting at. Facebook is yet another mediating force between my own life and others.
By having something like your profile stand between you and another person you’re trying to communicate with, you’re placing another invisible barrier or lens which distorts what true life together is. For instance, when I look at a friend’s profile to get a better idea of who they are, I have to interpret not who they are in person, but rather the mediating example that they have chosen to expose or manifest on a Web page. Often times these examples (profiles) do contain truth about the subject, but they are also exaggerated, and insular in nature. With every technological advance we make, we seem to increase in our communicative capabilities. We also seem to create more and more buffers or language barriers that have to be waded through and interpreted.
Example: 150 years ago. You want to talk to a relative who lives in Pennsylvania, but you live in Massachusetts. You have very limited choices; write a hand written letter, pack up the horse and head to Pa., or send a courier or an ambassador type of person to represent you in your place. Around this time the telegraph came to be. This was a pretty cool advance, and messages could be sent over long distances in short time. After this came the telephone. Now you could call your relative from a phone and chat. In some ways, this is better in that you can actually hear the voice of the person you’re chatting with. Then came computers, cell phones, the Internet and the massive expanse of online social networks. All of these things increase our communicative abilities, but they also distort truth and leave room for creating alter egos and projecting images of who and how you want to be perceived, rather than who you really are. Check out the online world of “Second Life,” it’s a rather scary concept if you think about what it really is.
No place is this more dangerous than in the world of Christianity, where the true love for God and love for each other is only worked out and learned in communal life on life relationships centered on the Word. I might look like a cool guy on Facebook by the music I say I like, the books I claim to read, and the advice or messages I might give on your e-mail or Facebook wall. In reality, I can be a cocky, arrogant, insensitive, tool bag of a guy. But you’ll never know this, and you’ll never have the opportunity to lovingly call me on it or hold me accountable. Not unless you become an intimate part of my life and walk alongside me as I strive to walk with and for God.
Can truths from one’s character be seen from someone’s Facebook profile? Absolutely. But it will never be validated or proven as a fact about oneself until you are incarnated alongside each other. This is when our true colors shine. This is when our character comes under fire and is put to the test. You can project an image of who you are to anyone, but it’s only validated as your true character and self when it is worked out and put to the test of true communal life. In community, the liars are exposed, the posers are found out and the insensitive self-serving types of people have their true colors revealed. Talk and mediating agents are only truly refined and distilled under the fires of communal life.
This is what makes true Church (where two or more are gathered) such a dangerous threatening aspect for many. True Christian Church is a communal relational act in which a community strives to love the God of redemption, and to love each other. Part of love and true community is admitting that we’re flawed, and seeking to iron out these sins and flaws in the fold of the supporting community and the crossroads of grace and repentance. Pride is one of the roots of all sin, and pride is what keeps us from opening our hearts to the community of saints around us. I don’t want anyone to know just how screwed up and ridiculous I really am. I want people to know and think of me as the Jesse Browning they perceive from things like Facebook. My withholding and hiding of known sins in and of itself, only further slows my faith-community around me from growing closer to Christ and furthering his Kingdom.
In many ways, the faith of true community is integrated and influenced as a cohesive whole. My sins affect not only the state of my own personal relationship with God, but also radically affect my relationship with every single person who is in the sphere of influence in my life. If you are not opening your hearts to the community around you, and allowing honest evaluation and criticism, you’re not truly opening your heart to God. If you are truly opening your heart to God to deal with sin issues, you will see them being worked out in the community around you. If this isn’t happening, you’re either not truly going to God, or you don’t have a genuine faith-Christ centered-community around you. If true life was meant to be lived between just you and your Jesus, there would be no such thing as or need for the Church. You could just sit at home and pray a lot. But fortunately our relational God demands life together as the Church, and life in the midst of the world itself.
I deleted my Facebook account because I need to focus more on the reality of the true community around me. Not an online one that exists in a realm of electronic databases and falsely projected personas. Do I think Facebook is bad? No. Am I calling upon all Christians to delete their Facebook accounts immediately? Not in the least. It was a decision that was made on personal conviction and communal dialogue with those around me. I think Facebook is a great tool to network with people and establish basic communication. In my weakness, it became much more of a distraction than anything else. At some point, I’m sure I’ll bring it back just for the purpose of networking, but not for a while.
Spread The Word
Comments
Comment #1 (Posted by Jerry Varner)
Wow. Its a pretty scathing indictment on Facebook. I'm not sure I can totally agree with it personally, but I think the points you're making are good ones, and valid for a lot of people who really are locked into a cyber-addiction to that sense of connection. But I think the reality of that desire points us to our God-given desire to be known, seen, liked, and loved. For some, it's way shallow (including some teens I minister to). But to others, its a genuine tool for connection; not one that replaces real relationships, but rather one that supplements them by allowing them to be "present" with a friend when they can't be there.
As for me, I use Facebook and have found it to be a good tool for getting info out and having really cool conversations with some students. There are some teens that will open up through a keyboard way quicker than in person.
So, I really like what you've said here, and I totally respect and appreciate your honesty and how you're handling it in your own life and following the Lord's leading.
Comment #2 (Posted by Armond F. )
I have sarcastically been calling Facebook the "Internet Devil" for about the last nine-months. It is a huge sucking vortex of kids lives that does exactly what you describe by sucking up all their time. I've also been amazed at how their profiles describe a personality nothing like who they really are.
